What Madness Can Do to You
by Noxjana
Summary: Dr. Franken Stein was mad, there was no doubt about it. But what really drove him insane was Death The Kid and his constant waging war against asymmetry. Oneshot Not Yaoi


**Faaah! Hey gaiz, this is just a little oneshot I wrote since I'm into Soul Eater now!**

Everybody said Dr. Franken Stein was mad. There was no doubt about it. But what _really _drove him insane was that pest that was going to be the next Death, and would surely be the cause of Stein's. Perfect in every way except for three white stripes in his hair.

Death the Kid, and his constant waging war again asymmetry. That's what really got on Dr. Stein's nerves.

Death the Kid was the perfect role-model for class Crescent Moon. He was strong, wise, and an OCD perfectionist which turned out to come in handy sometimes. He had an obvious fault that everybody knew of, yet they respected him anyway. Just because he was almighty Death's son. See, Death the Kid was symmetry obsessed, and anything that was anything but symmetrical was trash in Kid's book.

This was what got on Stein's nerves, because he was anything _but_ symmetrical, with his giant screw through his head slanted to one side, and the scar on his pale complexion. Whenever Kid faced the Professor, he didn't look at _him_, he was always staring... staring at either the screw or the scar on his face. Normally, Kid would have some kind of violent reaction to something that was not 'perfect'. But with human beings it was different. He was polite, calm and collected, didn't even mention it.

But Kid just couldn't stop himself from _staring_. It was plain out rude and yet he couldn't help it. But this was not what mattered to Stein. What mattered to this nutty Professor was the fact that he did it, and that was that.

Not only the staring, but Kid was always so neutral to everything (but symmetry). Always the same expression, the same menacing and glowing eyes. The same everything. It annoyed Stein to the ends of the earth.

You could say that Stein was _envious_ of Kid. Stein was a madman and yet he didn't want to be. He wanted to be perfect too. He didn't want to be shut away in an asylum. Stein wanted to be_ normal_. But he was defiant, in denial of these emotions. He concentrated on the envy and the jealousy and the urges so much that they turned into hate for that little striped brat.

***

Dr. Franken Stein lent back in his zigzag stitched swivel chair, watching his students as they dissected a new animal. This time they were only chickens, seeing as Stein was almost arrested the last time he tried to bring in an endangered animal. As the professor's dull eyes scanned the class, he saw Maka studying her chicken and her diagram carefully. Cutting cautiously. Soul Eater Evans was helping Maka, well not really. He was just holding the book up, seemingly fallen asleep sitting up. Black Star was cutting carelessly with his scalpel and Tsubaki was watching with a frightened face, making tiny meeps of protest.

Suddenly Ox came forward with his tray. The first goal of this lesson was to find and remove the hen's lungs. "I've got them!" Ox exclaimed beaming, his glasses reflecting the glow of light from his victorious eyes. Stein glanced at the bloody tray.  
"No you don't." he said flatly.  
"What?" Ox stared at Stein as though it were the end of his world. (It probably was.)  
"Those are the kidneys."

Ox stared distraught, from the kidneys to Stein.

"I _told_ you." Ox's partner rolled his eyes.

Ox had ended up throwing a panic attack, and had to be taken to the Dispensary. Meanwhile, Stein was left observing the class again. And no matter how hard he tried, Stein caught his pale green eyes sneakily dragging themselves to watch Kid's team.

Patty was cuddling her chicken who was clucking endlessly, (She somehow had gotten her hands on a live one.), Liz was painting her nails in class (again) and Kid was being...well infuriatingly obnoxious. Possibly even worse than Excalibur himself, if that was possible.

Kid was staring at his chicken with dire concentration; a ruler, a magnifying glass, measuring tape and his scalpel in hand. He'd only made one cut, and it was in the exact center of the hen. Currently he was looking through his magnifying class. "I need to find an exact way to cut this thing symmetrically."

Infuriated, Stein took from his lab coat pocket a cigarette and a lighter. When Stein was angry, he smoked. When he was stressed, he smoked. When he was depressed, he smoked. Actually no, Stein smoked all the time. He lit the cigarette and continued to watch Kid, who had finally after 10 minutes had cut his hen again. Everybody else was already starting to finish and Kid had barely started. Even Black Star had managed a passing grade. But Kid suddenly screamed when he saw the contents of his hen, because it was most certainly _not_ symmetrical.

"Kid, looks like you're staying after class." Stein was doing this for the pleasure of punishing Kid, even though he couldn't stand another moment with that idiot. Well there was no taking it back now, the bell had rung and everybody was packing up and leaving. Even Liz and Patty had left Kid behind. _Excellent._

"I just can't _DO _this." Kid cried, "I can't _bare_ to look at such a hideous thing."

"Well... if you can't stand it, why don't you destroy it." Stein grinned, feeling his madness suddenly kicking in.

"Because, that would completely defeat the purpose of the lesson! I'd end up mauling the thing to bits!" Kid groaned suddenly, clutching his stomach, "It makes me feel sick."

Stein crossed the room at a quick pace, making his way to Kid's desk, "Alright cut the crap." he said angrily.

Kid stared at his professor dumbstruck, but not really, Kid was staring at Stein's screw again. He lowered his head, "Asymmetrical piece of garbage." he muttered, unable to contain himself this time.

Stein lurched forward, grabbing at Kid's collar and holding him in the air, Stein's fist pulled back ready to punch Kid in the face.

"Ah..." Kid said nervously, "I-I think I'd better head to the Dispensary."

"Shut up!" Stein spat and brought his fist forward. He drove his wavelength into Kid through his punch, throwing the boy to the other side of the room. However Kid had flipped agilely through the air and landed in a skid on his feet, his head down and a shadow caused by his hair obscuring his face.

There was a moment's of silence between them, Kid still crouched on the floor and Stein's arm stretched forward, fist still clenched. Both panting.

Finally, slowly but surely, Kid stood up. Still with his head down Kid appeared to be studying his shoe_s checking the laces were symmetrically tied no doubt._

"Heh... who am I to talk, right?" Kid said, slowly bringing his head up, his cheek was swollen and red from Stein's punch. "Just look at me. Stripes on one side of my head and now a bruise to match them."

"SHUT UP!" Stein screamed, letting his arm fall, but now both fists were clenched, arms straight by his side. "IF IT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU DYE IT" Stein ran forward, ready to pin Kid to the wall and drive his wavelength into him again. But Kid blocked Stein's attack, did a funny sort of flip and kicked Stein in the stomach, causing the teacher to slide across the room.

"Then why don't you take that screw out, and cover up that scar with makeup or something." Kid sighed suddenly, straightening up, his odd yellow eyes staring into Stein's for the first time. "Asymmetry... it disgusts me. Just look at what it does to people. It tears them apart, piece by piece till the population of the entire world hate each other." The boy looked down, clenched and unclenched his fists, then left the room calmly as if nothing had happened.

Stein was left alone in the room, staring at the slowly swinging door. He brought his hand up to his face, staring through the cracks in his fingers at the checkered classroom floor.

"No... you're wrong. It's madness that does those things."

Fin


End file.
